Doubt

When Christ rose up, those somewhat timid gentry

His friends kicked up a noise, but one apostle -

St Thomas – sang as loud as any throstle:

"It's an imposture. Obvious. Elementary.

Anyway, how could he pass the fucking sentry?"

Jesus meanwhile, unseen in the Easter jostle,

Was making for their place at a colossal

Speed, and he used the keyhole for his entry.

He cried: "Poke in your finger, near this rib,

And you'll soon see whether I still exist

Or the whole tale is just a fucking fib."

St Thomas came and shoved his great ham fist

Into the hole. He then became as glib

A Christian as he'd been a rationalist.