Origins

A sort of interlude. Let's look at dogs.

At mastiff, Great Dane, greyhound, poodle, beagle,

The sausage hound, that yelps like a sick seagull,

Asthmatic bullpups honking hard as hogs.

Now men. Irish in bogs and Dutch in clogs,

Swarthy as turds, sharp-conked as any eagle,

The Jew and Turk. Then, trying to look regal,

Tea-slurping English, and French eating frogs.

Compare some doggy that leaps on to laps

With a prize wolfhound. Different as cheese and chalk.

In spite of this, our parish ballocks yaps

About us springing from a single stalk:

One primal bitch for pups, and one for chaps.

Did you ever hear such stupid fucking talk?