ЛИДЕРЫ ПО ОРИГИНАЛЬНОСТИ Когда этим занимаются мальчишки, разглядывая последний выпуск Мурзилки, а чаще Веселых Картинок, они COLOR IN THE COLORING BOOK. А если они думают о ком-то особенном, THE SESSION IS IN HONOR OF THAT SOMEONE. Руку, используемую при этом, называют HIS WIFE. АНТУРАЖ В пятидесятые надувной искусственный орган женщины называли A DUTCH SEA WIFE, ещё один пример слегка презрительного отношения американцев к голландским пуританам, опосредованного через язык; во французском наречии Луизианы THE INFLATABLE FEMALE была известна как A DAME DE VOYAGE. В тюрьме используемый контейнер называют A FIFI BAG. Из-за непонятной нам частоты процесса во время полуденного отдыха MIDAFTERNOON часто называют THE HOUSEWIFE’S HOUR. Итак: A DATE WITH DIPALMA ADDRESS CONGRESS (хорошо, что не к Государственной Думе) ADJUST YOUR SET APPLY THE HAND BRAKE AUDITION THE FINGER PUPPETS BASH THE CANDLE BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND BEAT THE BALD-HEADED BANDIT BEEF STROKIN’ OFF BIFF OFF BLAST OFF TO BAYWATCH (T and A (Tits and Ass) шоу вчерашнего тысячелетия) BLEED THE WEED BLOW THE LOAD BLOW YOUR OWN HORN BLUDGEON THE BEEFSTEAK BOB YOUR BOLOGNA BOP RICHARD BOP THE BISHOP BOX THE BALD CHAMP BOX THE JESUIT BOX WITH RICHARD BUFF THE BISHOP BUFF YOUR HELMET BUFF THE BANANA BURP THE BABY BURP THE WORM BUTTER THE CORN CALL YOUR PARENTS CATCH UP WITH POPEYE (поймать моряка Папая, аллюзия с популярным мультфильмом) CHARM THE SNAKE (очаровать гадюку, выдрессировать змею, видимо, в стиле индийских факиров) CHOKE KOJAK (задушить чукчу) CHOKE THE BAD GUY (гуся за шею, медузу в ванную) CHOKE THE SHERIFF AND WAIT FOR THE POSSE TO COME CHURN YOUR BUTTER CLEAN OUT YOUR ROPE CLEAN YOUR RIFLE CLEANING THE TUBE CLEAR THE SNORKEL CLIMB MOUNT BALDY COCK YOUR SHOTGUN COME TO GRIPS WITH YOURSELF CRANK THE LOVE PUMP CRANK THE MONKEY CRANK THE SHANK CRIMP THE WIRE CROWN THE KING DANCE WITH JOHNNY ONE-EYE DEFROST THE FRIDGE DIG FOR CHANGE DO IT YOUR WAY DO THE FIVE-FINGER KNUCKLE SHUFFLE DO THE FIVE-KNUCKLE OLYMPICS DO THE HAN SOLO (аллюзия со Звездными Войнами) DRIVE THE SKIN BUS DUNDER THE DEVIL EXPRESS YOURSELF FAX JIMMY DEAN FAX THE POPE (снова протестантская культура выступает против католиков) FEED THE DUCKS FIST YOUR MISTER FIVE AGAINST WILLIE FIVE-FINGER SOLO FLAY THE EMPEROR FLIP THE BISHOP FLOG THE FROG FLOG THE HOG FLOG YOUR CUMBER BROTHER FLOGGING THE BISHOP FLOGGING THE INFIDEL FREE WILLY FROST THE PASTRIES FUCK PALMALA GALLOP THE OLD LIZARD GET A GRIP ON THINGS GET A STIFFY GET THE GERMAN SOLDIER MARCHING GET TO KNOW YOURSELF GET YOUR PALM READ BY MISTER SOFTY GIVE IT A ONE-GUN SALUTE GIVE IT A TUG GIVE YOURSELF A LOW FIVE GO A COUPLE OF ROUNDS WITH OL’ JOSH GO ON PEEWEE’S LITTLE ADVENTURE GOING BLIND GREASE THE PIPE GRIP THE GORILLA GRIP THE PENCIL HANDY WORK HARD LABOR HAVE A BIG DATE WITH ROSY PALMS HAVE A LITTLE STROKE HAVE A RENDEZVOUS WITH MRS. HAND HITCHHIKE TO HEAVEN HITCHHIKE UNDER THE BIGTOP HONE THE CONE HONE YOUR BONE HUG THE HOG HUMP THE HOSE IRON SOME WRINKLES JACK F HAMMER JACK THE BEANSTALK JACKIN’ THE BEANSTALK (аллюзия со сказкой и современным детским фильмом) JELLY ROLL JERK JAMBY JERK THE TURKEY KICK SEAMEN KILL IT KNEAD YOUR DOUGH KNEADING THE NOODLE LAUNCH THE HAND SHUTTLE LUBE THE TUBE MAKE FIST-KABOBS MAKE THE BALD MAN PUKE MAKE THE SCENE WITH A MAGAZINE MAN THE COCKPIT MANGLE THE MIDGET MASSAGE YOUR MUSCLE MILK THE LIZARD MOLEST THE MOLE OIL THE GLOVE PACK YOUR PALM PAINT THE CEILING PAINT THE WALLS PAT THE ROBERTSON PEEL SOME CHILIES PEEL THE BANANA PHONE THE CZAR PICKLE PARTY PLAY THE ORGAN PLAY TUG OF WAR WITH THE CYCLOPS PLAY UNO PLAY WITH YOUR LIGHT SABER (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами) PLAY WITH YOUR TURTLE PLAYING POCKET POOL (а Вы говорите, что люди по две стороны океана разные) PLEASE YOUR PISSER PLUNK YOUR TWANGER POLE VAULT POLISH THE PORK SWORD POLISH THE ROCKET POLISH YOUR HELMET POP A NUT POP THE CORK POUND THE BALD-HEADED MOOSE PUD PULLING PUD PULL A PUDDING PULL RANK PULL YOUR OWN WEIGHT PUMMEL THE PRIEST PUMP CREAM PUMP THE STUMP PUNCH THE CLOWN PUNISH THE POPE R2 YOUR D2 (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами) RAISE THE MAINSAIL RAM THE HAM READ POETRY RELIEVE TENSION ROMANCE THE BONE ROPE THE POPE ROUGH UP THE SUSPECT RUB THE MAGIC LAMP SAND WOOD SECRET HANDSHAKE SHAKE HANDS WITH THE GOVERNOR SHAKE HANDS WITH THE UNEMPLOYED SHAKE THE SNAKE SHIFT GEARS SHINE YOUR HELMET SHOOT FOR THE MOON SHOOT PUTTY AT THE MOON SHOOT SKEET SHUCK THE CORN SHUFFLE THE PALM TREE SING WITH ROSIE SLAM THE HAM SLAM THE SALAMI SLAP PAPPY SLIDE THE SHAFT SMACK THE SALAMI SPANK THE FRANK SPANK THE WANK SPANKING THE MONKEY SPUNK SQUEEZE THE CHEESE (не путать с CUT THE CHEESE) STRANGLE THE SERPENT STRANGLE YODA (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами) STROKE IT STROKE THE BLOKE STROKE THE DOG STROKE YOUR POKER STRUM THE OL’ BANJO SUMMON THE GENIE TAKE A NAP TAKE A SHAKE BREAK TAKE HERMAN TO THE CIRCUS TAKE THE MONSTER FOR A ONE-ARMED RIDE TAME THE BEEF WEASEL TAME THE SHREW TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO FLY TEASE THE PYTHON TEASE THE WEASEL TEST THE TESTICLES TEST YOUR BATTERIES THUMP THE PUMP TICKLE THE IVORY TICKLE THE PICKLE TICKLE YOUR FANCY TORQUE THE FORK TORTURE THE TENTACLE TOSS IT TOSS THE SALAD TRANSFER DATA TUG THE SLUG TUG YOUR TAPIOCA TUBE TUG YOUR TUBE SNAKE TUG YOUR TUBE STEAK TWANG YOUR WIRE TWEAK YOUR TWINKIE TWIST YOUR TOOL UNSTABLE THE STALLION UPGRADE YOUR HARDWARE VARNISH YOUR POLE WALK THE DOG WALK THE PLANK (пираты Стивенсона ходили по доске как-то по другому) WALTZ WITH WILLY WANKER THE ANCHOR WANKING THE WILLIE WASTING BABIES WAX THE DOLPHIN WAX YOUR WILLY WAXING THE CARROT WAXING THE WEEZER WHIP THE BOLOGNA PONY WHIP THE DRIPPER WHIPPIN’ UP ON SKIPPY (NOT THE BUSH, BUT KANGAROO!!!) WHITE-WATER WRISTING WINDSURF ON MOUNT BALDY WORK A CRAMP OUT OF YOUR MUSCLE WRESTLE THE EEL WRESTLE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS WRIST AEROBICS YANK THE PLANKTHE BOY IS JERKING OFF